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by Luke Wieser, Mediation Program Manager
Think of a last conflict you have experienced. How did it feel physically? How about emotional? Cognitive? You can remember to feel tense or have trouble focusing on your thoughts. In conflict in conflicts, you can start us in Survival Mode (Fight-Flight Freeze), which sends neurochemicals and hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline into our system. Cortisol promotes communication with our limbic system (our emotional brain) and inhibits communication with our prefrontal cortex (our rational brain). Before we can intervene with a productive conflict conflict, we need to communicate and repeat the communication with our prefrontent cortex.
Whether we are in a conflict with someone else, and must be a situation in which we are going to be in a conflict, or we have to remove a friend, family member or employee, we all have the power to help de -Date others through active listening. Paraphrasierung is a core principle in active listening and a capability that is managed for the conflict.
There are two key components of paraphrasing: summary key facts and reflective emotions.
1. Summary key facts
Summaries seems like a trivial instrument that is used, which is summarized, is the foundation that someone is a soundboard to be someone who deals with a conflict. Summary key facts, ideas and thoughts without integrating their own assumptions and verdict, the other person can organize their thoughts. This can lead to a better understanding of the situation and others find the best way forward.
If you are hesitant to summarize because they do not agree with the other person, take into account that it is okay not to vote with the facts, and their memory of what happened is still summarized. In fact, this may be a valuable way to determine the discrepancies or confusion points.
2. Reflective emotions
Remember that it is typical that people jump into conflict situations for survival mode. OxyTocin is one of the fastest ways for someone who can unleash and remove the cortisol from your system. Oxytocin is commonly known as "love hormone" as we produce what we produce when we are in love. Oxytocin, however, is also made when we have meaningful interactions with someone else. By reflecting anyone's feelings, we can create an interaction and experience that oxytocin produces both for you as well as for us.
Many of the friends, family and employees we lean for the support often take our site, looking for the silver food or try to solve our problems. You may have phrases like "That's a pity," belongs on the bright page. . . , "Or" you should. . . "These strategies should be supportive, typically justify escalation or increase the escalation. By summarizing the key facts and reflecting emotions, we escalate the other person who enables them to act and support them more effectively. It is also okay to recognize the emotions of the other person, even if they do not agree. The confirmation is not confident, it is recognized, and recognition promotes healthy, respectful and future-oriented conflict talks.
В· Try saying, "I hear that they say ..." or "It sounds like ..." when practicing paraphrasing. The use of these openings makes it easier to summarize and reflect, because it's what you want to do, of course after you said these openings.
В· Learn new communication instruments, the practice is used. Try to find at least one occasion every day to summarize what someone said, or your feelings in non-conflict situations to develop this practice.It will make it easier to draw these tools when they are in conflict.
For further information on paraphrasing, you will hear an interview with hatch on the podcast rethinking of the conflict.
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